Summer in a Haze
by AMEMe
Summary: This is set summer after season 2. And I know we're already in season 3, but there are so many questions left unanswered that the show doesn't provide. So here's my take on what happened in the summer.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Summer in a Haze**

**Pairing: Brittana**

**Summary: This is set summer after season 2. And I know we're already in season 3, but there are so many questions left unanswered that the show doesn't provide. So here's my take on what happened in the summer. And the title… thanks Adele for the idea. Summer in a Haze, summer in a type of confusion, in Santana's case, confusion regarding her feelings. **

**Also, this is my very first fanfic… so not sure if it's good or bad. Please review and let me know what you think. What you like, what you don't like. I enjoy feedback. **

**Also, I own nothing. Although, I wish I did. All these characters and Glee are property of Fox.**

**Chapter 1**

Santana wasn't sure what day of the week it was, but for some reason it felt like a Monday. She hated Mondays because it meant back to school, no sleeping in late for the next 5 days, having to hear that obnoxious alarm clock, and not to mention seeing annoying ass Rachel Berry.

Luckily it was summer so it was ok not to know what day of the week it was or even the time of day. She blamed the alcohol for that. These past days she'd been drinking herself to sleep and spent most days in bed with massive hangovers. Somehow if she slept or was drunk, she wouldn't have to think about her…

As soon as school was out for the summer, Brittany went to visit her relatives in Wyoming for two weeks. They lived in this weird hippie colony where they didn't believe in electricity, so Santana hasn't spoken with her since. To kill time Santana does what she knows best: party, drinking, and sleeping. When she realizes that she's sober, she starts her own solo drinking game: A shot of Tequila every time Brittany comes into her head. So, it hasn't been too hard to pass out and forget.

What would her dear mother say? Pshh, her mom's never home, she probably wouldn't be able to distinguish sober Santana from totally trashed. Who cares, Santana is use to being alone. That was, until Brittany. Now it's not that easy. Once she felt that touch of companionship and all her walls came down, being alone became harder. She was so use to Brittany that the past few weeks have been like giving up cigarettes cold turkey.

Even parties didn't feel the same. She figured people were starting to suspect since she hasn't been making out with random dudes anymore, especially now that she wasn't dating Karofsky. Honestly, sometimes just thinking about some guy having his way with her again made her feel sick to her stomach. So at parties she would drink and dance, then drink some more.

Sometimes she'd dance with Quinn and other times with Puck, at least when Lauren wasn't around. Not that she was scared of her or anything. Nothing scares Santana Lopez. She just didn't want the drama. Right now she was just trying to figure herself out and not miss Brit in the process.

But if she had to choose between her two dance partners, she'd definitely stick with Quinn. Quinn just felt comfortable and normal. Santana liked to place her hands on Quinn's body and sometimes she's squeeze her ass just for laughs. They had become better friends lately. Santana was sure Quinn knew about her attraction to girls and maybe that's why Quinn was sometimes real flirty with her. But they both knew it was just for fun because Quinn wasn't 'into that' and Santana was in love with Brittany S. Pierce.

Sometimes if it wasn't for Quinn and Puck, she'd probably be moping around her house for the whole summer. Quinn would randomly show up delivering food from Breadstix to cheer her up and sometimes Puck would tag along. A few times they sneaked into her neighbor's pool because she knew the family was on vacation. She smiled thinking about the last time they sneaked in, they decided to skinny dip and suddenly the backyard lights went on. They had to run fast because they were going to call the cops!

_**Bzzzzz**_**.** Santana quickly snapped out of her thoughts and looks for her phone. 'who the fuck could that be?'

**Brittany:** Hey you! I'm back! Are you going to Puck's tonight? I really want to see you. 3

'Shit! It's been two weeks already?' Looks like she was wrong, today is actually Friday. 'So I lost track of a few days, big whoop.'

This bitch wasn't even planning on going. She wanted to sleep and get rid of this massive headache… Fuckkkkkk…

Santana didn't bother replying to Brittany's text. She wanted Brittany to miss her just as much as she missed Brittany. She wanted Brittany to want her with the same intensity she did.

Quinn shows up a few hours later.

**Quinn:** "I'm surprised Brittany isn't here. I mean, she just got back this morning and you haven't seen her in weeks."

**Santana:** "Yeah, well she's got her own shit to deal with and I've got mine. She's probably busy or whatever. "

Quinn had begun to realize in the past few weeks that Brittany was a touchy topic. She didn't know what happened between the two, but she had noticed that Santana and Brit weren't as attached at the hip towards the end of the school year as they use to be. Quinn figured it was probably because Brittany was dating Artie, but then they broke up. She didn't want to persist with this, especially because every time Brittany comes up, Santana decides to get herself drunk. A few times these past weeks, Quinn would have a sobbing Santana leaning against her shoulder. All Quinn could do was hug her and listen. Sometimes what she said didn't even make sense, more mumbles than words. Half of what came out of her mouth was 'I'm sorry' and 'I'm such a coward'. One time she even said 'If you knew, you probably wouldn't want to be my friend anymore. You'd treat me different, as if I had three heads.'

It didn't take much to put two and two together, but Quinn wasn't going to force the truth out of Santana. Hopefully, sometime soon, Santana would be ready to tell and Quinn would be ready to listen.


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own any of the characters. They are a property of Glee and Fox. **

**SO, I'm really sorry it took this long to update but I've been going through some stuff. And it's just been really difficult to write with all that's been going on. =( Thanks for reading and please review and let me know what you think. 3 Thanks!**

Fabray and Lopez were greeted by Puck with two large cups filled with something he called the Puckmeister concoction. His own specialty. Quinn was hesitant to drink and looked at Santana, noticing that the Latina had just downed her drink. _'shit, I knew I shouldn't have brought up topic Brittany. I really don't want to carry Santana home again. Another night of her sobbing.'_

Santana didn't care. She felt pain, and if alcohol lessened that, then so be it. Sometimes if she drank enough the pain would disappear, even though she knew she'd have hell to pay when she woke up in the morning. Maybe if she were lucky she would black out and not wake up until the next day mid afternoon. Sometimes she wondered how much of it would cause her to sleep forever.

Santana walked around, losing site of Quinn. The music kind of sucked tonight so she really didn't feel like dancing. She stumbled into Sam and snatched his cup. She can't help it, his mouth is huge, so she throws him an insult.

**Santana:** Trouty Mouth, How many beer can's do you think you can fit in that big mouth of yours?

He was about to tell her off when he noticed Mercedes walk through the door. Off he went like a lost puppy.

'_Pathetic._' Santana couldn't believe it, even Mercedes and Sam had each other and she was all alone. She searched around for her Blanquita, but no luck. '_Fuck this shit. She's not coming. I'm such a coward, why didn't I answer her fuckin text?_'

After a few more drinks, Santana was barely able to walk. Her head was heavy and she wanted to puke badly. Like every other time she got extremely trashed, she said to herself '_I'm never drinking again!_' Everyone knew she couldn't keep that promise, just like she couldn't be honest about her feelings for Brittany.

The next morning, Santana woke up with a massive headache. '_Where am I and whose bed is this?' _Looking around she notices it's Puck's room and sees Quinn still snoozing next to her. '_Ruff night for both of us'_. Santana hated how Quinn got whenever she saw Finn snogging that troll. Quinn could do so much better. Then again who was Santana to give advice, she was drinking just as much or perhaps more than Quinn in order to get over Brittany.

Memories from last night quickly enter Santana's thoughts. She remembers seeing flawless porcelain skin and lagoon blue eyes last night, dancing. Her Brittany dancing with Sir cripple Pants. She couldn't stand it. '_Are they dating again? Annoying little fuck!_' She had had enough and needed to forget, needed to numb the pain. She remembered how she downed a whole bottle of vodka that was stashed under Puck's bed. She'd fucked him enough times to know where he kept his stash. She must have blacked out because after that memory everything is a blur.

She doesn't bother waking up Quinn because the girl looks like shit and needs her rest. She drives home and wonders what the hell she's going to do for the rest of the day, especially because for the first time in weeks she doesn't feel like a zombie walking without any recollection of what's been going on for the past few days at a time. Seeing Brittany woke her from this slumber. Just like the prince awoke Snow White from hers.

When the door bell rang, she wasn't sure if she should answer it or not because she was scared that it could be Brittany and she wasn't ready to face her. She must have seen Santana at the party and probably came here to confront her for not saying anything. But when she opened the door she finds Quinn.

**Quin:** So, Puck wants to know if you want to come to the trails?

_**Santana's POV**_

A half hour later we were walking through the Lima Heights Trails. "_Ouch_", Quinn kept saying, as if the mosquitoes would stop biting her ass. I can't help but roll my eyes. At least I was smart enough to put on mosquito repellent, ain't no nasty blisters growing on this skin. I has a reputation to maintain. Not to mention I can't stand the itching. After a few minutes of listening to her moan, I take the spray out of my bag and toss it to her. That should keep her from bitching for awhile. We take the most difficult trail to get to where ever the hell Puck wants to go. We stumble and sometimes I feel like I'm still drunk and can't keep my balance with all these rocks to trip on. Apparently Puck has been coming here for quite some time. No one ever comes up here so he can do whatever without any worries of getting caught.

We get off the trail and make our way through some trees, pushing branches and leaves out of our faces along the way. What I see is beyond unexpected. How have I never known that there was a lake around here? It's so peaceful here and suddenly I forget who I am and all the shit that's going on in my life, and I just relax. I take a deep breath and realize that I've been holding my breath for so long, I forget when the last time was that I just lived and had no care in the world.

Puck turns on his ipod dock and we listen to music. He starts rolling up joints and hands us a few. We end up smoking for the rest of the afternoon with our feet dangling in the water. Somehow we forget about everything and just start laughing about nothing. Damn, we are so high right now. When Puck plays his guitar, me and Quinn sing along, like all those countless times in Glee club. For a few moments I actually believe that life is good and things will get better. If let us smoke a few before competitions, we'd snag first place for sure. Yup yup. That and if he let me sing some Amy.

Nightfall approaches and we know we should be heading home. Not that I had anyone at home waiting for me. We stare at each other, like we know what each one is thinking. I'm Santana Badass Lopez, so I begin to strip first. Eventually we all jump into the water, not worrying about the consequences. We swim and have water fights, me and Quinn gang up on Puck. He grabs our feet and tickles us until we beg for mercy! Funny, how after all the meaningless sex Puck has quickly become one of my best friends. I guess we've all grown up a bit.

When we got out of the water we laid on the rocks and I couldn't help but look at the stars. All I can think about is Brittany. There's a constellation of her face, and there's another one of her dancing. I can even make out the sparkle I see in her eyes every time she smiles. Wherever she is, I know she sees the same stars and the same moon. And maybe she's laying outside looking at the stars and thinking of me too.

It's too much for my heart to handle. I try to wipe my tears so they don't see. It just hurts too much. I realize now that the power she has over me is far mightier than the universe. Fuck! How did I let this happen? It was so much easier with no feelings involved.

As we get up to leave, I look at the stars one last time and whisper '_I love you Brittany'_, maybe they could give her the message until I muster the courage to tell her those words again myself.


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't know if I have to write this before every chapter, but just in case… I do not own Glee. Glee and all the characters are property of FOX. Song in this chapter is Chasing Pavements by Adele.**

**Thanks for the reviews! Hope you enjoy it. Please feel free to comment and let me know on how I can improve, or have any cool ideas. =)**

**Diana xoxo**

The phone buzzes, waking a not so happy Santana. This is one of the rare mornings she actually wakes up without a migraine and in her own bed. Usually she'd crash at Quinn's or find herself waking up in her tub or on the floor.

Picking up her phone, she finds a text from Man hands inviting her to a party at her place. 'Oh God, not another Rachel Berry Party. I'm 99.9% sure these are illegal. Yeah, No chance in hell I'm going! Not after nationals!' She was still a bit bitter about the whole "Finn Kissing Rachel" scenario that caused the New Directions to lose Nationals.

Moments later she gets another text. 'Fuckin Berry! I don't give a Fuck about your Lame ass alcohol free party.' Suddenly annoyance is replaced by nervousness and her face begins to blush. Turns out it wasn't a hobbit texting her, but a goddess.

**Brittany:** Hey! Going 2 Rachel's party? Xoxo

She was done ignoring Brittany. If there was one thing Santana learned these past few weeks without Brittany, it was how much she missed her BritBrit and longed for the chance to hold her and share sweet Lady Kisses. It's been way to long…

Santana has had this void, and no matter how many Tequila shots she downs or how many people she kisses or sleeps with, Brittany is the only person that makes Santana feel complete.

**Santana:** Not a chance in Hell!

**Brittany:** Yay, u finally answered!

**Santana** guiltily replies: Yeah, I've been busy…

**Brittany:** U have to go. It will be fun and I miss u. We haven't hung out in so long.

Santana couldn't deny the blond anything. '_ughhh. The things I do for Love._'

**Santana:** Fine, I'll make an appearance. Cause u knows the party don't start till I walks in!

A few hours later Santana was pulling up in front of Quinn's house. If she had to endure Rachel Berry torture, then so did Quinn. She wasn't going at it alone. '_Fuck that!_ ' She'd never let Quinn know it, but she actually enjoyed her company.

As Quinn enters the car, she's surprised by the silence, "Why is it so quiet? You usually have your radio blasting to the point I'm still deaf an hour after I've left your car."

Santana began to blush. She had quickly turned off the CD she's been playing on repeat for the past few weeks. Karofsky had given her The Maroon 5 Hands All Over CD as some sort of 'Thank you for being my Beard' kind of occasion on the last day of school. When he gave it to her she rolled her eyes. _'I mean, who even listens to CD's anymore?'_ She didn't even like Maroon 5. She's never downloaded a Maroon 5 song in her life. She was grateful that he thought of her though, but she would never admit it out loud. A few weeks ago she was cleaning out her car and there it was, still wrapped up. She decided to give it a try while she was finishing her cleaning. Next thing she knew… she had the car doors closed and she was crying like a baby. Somehow their music brought back the bad times and the good, goofy memories. She thought of Cheerios practice, Glee Club, Brittany, Breadstix, Brittany, drinking, getting drunk, and mostly… Brittany. This CD seemed too intimate to share with anyone, hence the reason she turned the radio off.

**Santana:** "Um, headache. Oh man, what a fuckin headache. You wouldn't even believe."

Quinn gives her a concerned look, "Well you have been drinking like a maniac!"

Santana gives Quinn a look of disbelief, "Look who's talking, Count boozy drunk a ton. You've been just as bad since Finn dumped your ass."

Santana feels bad because she sees the hurt on Quinn's face, and Quinn has been so good to her these past few weeks of Brittany hiatus.

**Santana:** Sorry Q. I just…

Quinn cuts her off, "it's ok! He's a jerk, they're all jerks. Let's just put on some good beats. And I know just the song." Shuffling through her ipod, Katy Perry's Last Friday Night begins to play. They sing so loud that they can't even make out each other's words. They start laughing because last Friday night was pretty crazy. Or was that Monday? Santana wasn't too sure since she had all her days confused, sleeping through most of them. That was quite an eventful night. Her and Quinn did body shots and skinny dipped in her neighbor's pool. Quinn acted like a saint, but deep down the girl was down for anything.

**Santana POV**

A few minutes later, we're standing in front of Rachel Berry's door staring at the dwarf wearing an elementary school type dress with flowers in her hair.

_Ay dios mio, What is she wearing?_ I needs to get Kurt so we can do a serious makeover. Maybe tonight, if I don't get too fucked up.

I'm climbing down the stairs into Rachel's Oscar room and I have that nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. You know, the kind of feeling that you get on the first day of school when you want to throw up your lunch because your stomach is doing random flip flops. I know that in a few moments, in a few milliseconds, I'm going to look around the room and our eyes will lock. Chocolate brown will lock with Lagoon Blue. Those same blue eyes I dream about every night. Those same blue eyes that make me wake up to a wet pillow. These feelings are eating me up and if I don't do something about it soon, I don't think I'll make it to senior year.

I say one collective hi to everyone and suddenly the world stops. Literally I can only hear my own heartbeat. It's just me and her in this staring contest. If I blink, I might lose her forever. I stare until I see a whole lot of blond jumping into my arms. It's only me and Brittany right now and I don't want to let go.

Somehow I survive. Somehow I manage to break from the hug, the spell Brittany casts over me every time I see her. The smell of strawberries in her hair from her shampoo makes my legs tremble, and I fear I might forget to stand.

"Hi." I hear myself say. And I think _'wtf is wrong with you? You love this girl and hi is all you can say?'_

She looks at me with those concerned eyes, like she knows I've been to hell and back these past few weeks. Hell, these past few months to be honest. "Hi! I finally get to see you!"

I start touching my hair, and whirling it around my finger. It's a nervous twitch I've recently reintroduced myself to. It's something I've done since I was a baby to fall asleep and sometimes to Brittany's hair when we had sleepovers. Now I see her and it comes back to me. "Yeah, I've been busy. Just figuring things out. Looking at colleges." Quinn gives me a goofy look as if saying 'yeah when was this? Was it that time you were throwing up in the trash bin near Burger King after you told Puck you could drink just as much as him and Sam put together. Wait, you did mumble something, but with all the gagging and barfing I can't be sure it sounded like Columbia.' Honestly, that's the last thing going through our minds these days.

"That's great! Well, when you have time can you come over and talk to Lord Tubbington for me? I think he has a drinking problem now. I found a few bottles next to his litter box. Maybe we need to send him to AA meetings."

I can't help but smile at her. I'm pretty sure that cat hates me, but I'll do anything to spend time with BritBrit. "Sure BritBrit, I'll come over tomorrow and give Lord T the talk."

"Yay", she hugs me again and kisses my cheek. Hopefully my skin tone disguises my blushing.

Quinn, knowing the awkward situation we were in, hands us cups filled with Vodka and cranberry juice. I take a few sips and decide that I'll be good today and not drink too much. Weird, since it's been the only thing I've enjoyed lately. But then I realize, there's something in this room I enjoy a lot more. Keeping a clear head and watching over Brittany is more important, especially because she's already starting to take off her shoes… From the corner of my eye I spot Rachel. It never ceases to amaze me how Berry can get drunk off two wine coolers. She has a bottle in her hand, and before I can stop her, she's shouting "Spin the bottle". You'd think she'd come up with a better drunk game by now. Where's her boyfriend at? Figures Finn isn't man enough to handle her. Good riddance Quinn, is all I can say. If anyone kisses Brit, I'm going All Lima Heights!

Everyone sluggishly gets into a circle. Good thing everyone is so open with their relationship when they're drunk. I almost choke on my drink when Finn has to kiss Quinn, and enjoy every second of Rachel's pissed troll face. Then it's just a repeat of what we usually see: Mercedes kisses Sam and Kurt kisses Blaine and Brittany. Which is ok… because it's Kurt. So it's Brittany's turn to spin. And when the bottle points at me I can hear myself swallow hard. I wasn't prepared for this. She eyes me like a snake trying to hypnotize its pray, and she's doing just that. I'm in a trance as I look into B's eyes. We slowly approach each other's faces and she licks her lips. When our lips touch, I feel that spark that I've been missing, that's absent when I kiss anyone besides B. I open my mouth slightly to allow her tongue entrance. As our tongues rekindle their long lost friendship, I let my hand travel through her hair. I feel her hands sliding up my back. Oh my… I don't know how long it was, but lets me tell you that I only came back to planet Earth when man hands started to do her stupid fake cough, the kind she does to get attention back on her. We pull apart, realizing where we are. Everyone is quiet, I hate silence. I get enough of that at home. I try not to look at B because she might notice the tears almost falling out of my eyes.

Puck is the first to react, "Lets get our Glee on! Who wants to perform first?" Of course Berry tights is the first to perform, singing some Broadway song I have no clue about. Bad fashion sense and taste in music. For a few seconds, I actually feel bad for Finn. I'd go insane if I hads to deal with that.

A few songs later Brits gets up. The Karaoke machine starts to play a beat I'm not familiar with. She looks at me and I understand that this song is meant for me. What the hell is she thinking? I'm not ready for this public announcement!

**I've made up my mind,  
>No need to think it over,<br>If i'm wrong I aint right,  
>No need to look no further,<br>This ain't lust,  
>This is love but,<strong>

I can see it in her eyes, she loves me… just like I love her.

**If i tell the world,  
>I'll never say enough,<br>Cause it was not said to you,  
>And thats exactly what i need to do,<br>If i'm in love with you,**

****Brittany points in my direction. No, you aren't telling the world Shit! What is she thinking? Oh my God, what if they know? What if they figure it out?

**Should i give up,  
>Or should i just keep chasing pavements?<br>Even if it leads nowhere,  
>Or would it be a waste?<br>Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?  
>Should i give up,<br>Or should i just keep chasing pavements?  
>Even if it leads nowhere<strong>

I don't wait for her to finish. Next thing I know, I'm running out of Rachel's house. I get into my car and drive away without looking back. ****


End file.
